My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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