Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
