problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
