it was like his penis was on wheels.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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