I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
