Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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