I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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