I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
