No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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