Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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