remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
