hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
