Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
