I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he thought i was a dude.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
