I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
