I smell stomach acid.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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