Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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