I love black thongs
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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