i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
