Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
