Who wears a wallet chain?!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize