xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
