I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
