Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
