you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
