i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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