if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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