Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
