i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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