Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
