Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My life is pants optional.
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