this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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