Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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