I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
