You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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