sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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