Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation harelip BJ is a go
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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