never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
