I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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