So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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