i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
