he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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