if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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