if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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