Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.