I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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We are two peas in an std pod
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.