I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"