We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
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I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!