I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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