just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
