"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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