I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize