The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
