If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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