he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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