what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
