I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
