whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
