The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
