i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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