My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
