I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
