Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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