Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
